Absolute Liability Lauded For Not Fitting Equipment Before Grandparents Left Marriage – The Betoota Advocate


A guy who often gets his friends kicked out of approved venues was praised today for showing a thoughtful sign of respect for the sanctity of marriage.

Benji “Bendo” Edwards, a 29-year-old air conditioner repairman from Betoota Ponds, was reportedly patted on the back by all his friends after he refrained from rolling out “Persian rugs” until the two sets of big -parents left a marriage.

“It’s really nice of him, he certainly showed his maturity today,” said Hayden Carter, one of the main groomsmen in the affair.

“Benji is always the first to sniff at a party, if you know what I mean, so the fact that he held back long after the first dance was a sign that he had really grown up!”

A well-known reveler, Benji’s invitation to join Sarah and Matthew Rodgers’ reception at Betoota Racecourse is believed to have come with a strict warning from the bride’s family , who was well aware of her reckless antics.

“When Matt said he was considering calling ‘Benj’ late, half of us thought he was crazy!” said a close friend of the couple.

“Everyone knows Benji can cause big trouble at an open bar type event. In fact, I think he has a 10-year-old barn in that same reception center, so I’m surprised he got in at all.”

Speaking to the groom at the event, newlywed Matthew told our reporter that some strategic table placements also helped calm his reckless mate, who once had a Steve Irwin tattoo on his left buttock. .

“I put Benji on a table with my boring co-workers and religious cousins, hoping they’d keep him in line.”

“And I guess that kinda worked out, although now that the speeches are over he’s free to let loose, can’t keep it caged forever, it’s not his wedding!”

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